I started my diet three days ago. So far, I’ve lost 4 pounds, which is pretty amazing in only three days! 

I’ve reduced my calories to only 1,200 a day. It’s really hard but I am doing so well! It really has made me realize how much food I was eating before. It was ridiculous!

I haven’t told my boyfriend that I’m on a diet, since we live eight hours away from each other. And he has invited me to a wedding/vacation with his whole family in a month in NC. I’m really excited and anxious to see if he notices that I look different.

I just really want to make sure that I’m beautiful for him. 

Recently, I went to Maryland and went to the river with his sister and her little 2 year old son. And she had taken pictures of him and I was in the background in my bathing suite. I’ve never been so upset to see how my body actually looks.

(As you can see, I put it in black and white to attempt to make slim down my cellulite in this picture as much as possible. It is what it is. I’m ashamed. This bathing suit I’m wearing is not a bikini. It’s a high waisted bottom that comes up to my belly button and the top is very retro. So it’s not like everything is hanging out. It was tasteful. It’s a Tara Grinna Fantasy 2011 Swimsuit and I bet it would look beautiful on a thin tan girl.)

I’m 5’10”. I weight 189 pounds. For a person my height, the target weight is 153. The lowest weight is 132. And the high weight for my height is 173. So, I’m pretty overweight. But, I have 38 D boobies. But I guess that’s just fat?

ANYWAYS! My daddy told me that if I lose weight and my boobies shrink to nothingness, that he’ll get me a boob job! YAY! I would just like a lift and a small 32 D.

I don’t want to point the finger of blame to anything, but I was really weight conscious before I started dating my boyfriend, but then I got way too comfortable with my relationship and now I feel really shitty about letting myself get to this way.

I need all the support that I can get.

This would probably be my long term goal body, would be Miranda Kerr. She is 5’9” and 123 pounds. I feel like she doesn’t look that skinny though? 

My short term goal body would be something like this, still some curves.

Khloe Kardashian is the same height as me.

Does this seem unrealistic? Am I reaching for the stars??!?!?!